I'M BORED

[malthusian]

[ HEY GUESS WHAT LOSERS THERE'S A GAME! do you exist in a place, where there are colour-coded teams and those teams do things to win things??? DO YOU JUST WISH YOU EXISTED IN A PLACE LIKE THAT? THEN GUESS WHAT, YOU'RE HERE!!!

Where here is is some sort of overgrown villa. There's all this pretty forestry everywhere, and also! Snow! So much snow. It's actually really cold. If you go inside, though, you'll find that despite the fact that there's no way any heating this place may used to have still works, it is actually very warm. In fact, everything works. The bathroom, the kitchen (which even has a DELICIOUS CHRISTMAS MEAL already made and an unlimited supply of anything else you could ever want to cook), and even the bedrooms have super comfy beds in them.

But maybe you just want to go explore outside anyway? There's plenty of hidden groves lit by the light of dancing faeries who even KNOWS

The important part here is that no matter where you go, there is mistletoe growing everywhere. If you're trying to avoid it, your best bet is to just stay still unless you're some sort of expert mistletoe spotter. Of course, the win conditions are to get stuck underneath the mistletoe with as many people as possible, so... If you end up underneath one with someone else, you're physically unable to leave until you've fufilled a certain condition. Helpfully, they come with status effects that'll point you in the right direction! If you're unlucky, you might even get stuck under a bunch of different ones at the same time...

1) KISSING! MAKEOUTS WOULD FEEL REALLY AMAZING RIGHT NOW
2) TRUTH COMPULSION! you can't lie and you won't be free until you tell your ~*deepest darkest secrets*~
3) VIOLENCE COMPULSION! you're super mad you should MURDER THE NEAREST PERSON (though maybe just hitting them will let you go free MAYBE NOT THO)
4) CUDDLING! you just wanna cuddle. cuddle forever
5) ALIGNMENT SWITCH! you are now the negaverse version of yourself, and you won't be free until you do something REALLY MEAN...or nice, if you were a jerk to begin with
6) MEMORY SHARE! this one just forces someone to relive one of your memories when you touch them and you can't go free until you've each shared enough...
7) LYING COMPULSION! you literally cannot tell the truth what the shit. you can't leave until you've convinced the other person to believe something truly outrageous
8) the sex pollen one. actually this one doesn't even get you stuck BUT NOW YOU HELLA WANNA FUCK
9) or you know whatever other thing you wanna come up with YOU DO IT! YOU DO THE THING ]

Comments

[malthusian]

...Are you really a human, Ed?

[ because torture is not a good thing for humans ]

[fuhrinkaed]

...That is a complicated question and it'd require way more talking than I'd like to deal with.

[malthusian]

Oh? How interesting, how interesting.

[fuhrinkaed]

If you say so... [oh hey that's some truth stuff.]

Well, if you really want to know, though... what's a 'human,' anyways?

[malthusian]

Not fae, not beast.

[fuhrinkaed]

But what fundamentally makes a human different from a beast?

Physiologically, we're the same. If you look at other mammals, the only difference is really how complicated the tools we use get.

[malthusian]

Well, not being human, it's hard for me to explain.

But essentially, a sense of 'right' and 'wrong'. Laws, justice, the sort of things their society deems necessary to operate.

[fuhrinkaed]

Hmm... I have those, I guess... but I've met groups of demons that have the same thing. And aliens, who aren't biologically human and aren't even from here, probably have the same thing. Are they still human?

[malthusian]

Well, again, this is hard to explain, but...

Let's say the particular moral compass and the logistics accompanying it that humans follow is classified as 'humanity'. Anything following that particular set of guidelines can broadly be called human, for the sake of this argument.

[fuhrinkaed]

And in that case, can you really call me 'human?' I follow a moral compass, and logistics guide it... but that moral compass is to find out what the balance is in the world I'm in, and work to protect it, or change it if it's a system that's obviously crippling a group.

I want to build a world where nobody has to suffer, and everything's in harmony. Good, evil, light, dark, fire and water, earth and air... everything.

That... from what I've seen, it's not a thought a lot of people share. [Nodnod.]

[malthusian]

Human, but not possessing humanity. I suppose that's the question I should have asked.

Well, all the better for you. Humanity is something that only makes sense among humans, who are a terribly small population in the grand scheme of things, anyway.

[fuhrinkaed]

[Ed shrugs.]

I guess... At the end of the day, all I can really try to be is me. And that's enough.

[malthusian]

That is true.

[fuhrinkaed]

Mmn... it's kind of a pity that your morality involves making people suffer.

[malthusian]

It's not really morality.

I just enjoy making people suffer.

[fuhrinkaed]

...that's still not very nice.

[malthusian]

I suppose not, no.

[fuhrinkaed]

Isn't there a safer way to do it, though?

[malthusian]

No?

[fuhrinkaed]

That's a shame... if there was, we could get along a lot more easily.

[malthusian]

And here I thought we got along fine.

[fuhrinkaed]

I meant the royal we.

[malthusian]

Why should I care if I don't get along with people I don't care about?

[fuhrinkaed]

So you care about me, then?

[malthusian]

Not really, no.